Wednesday, October 05, 2005

What's wrong with the tube?

I should be accurate. Things aren't necessarily wrong with the tube but the people using it.

This one is obvious. You do not charge on before I've got off. I did myself a mischief the other day shoulder charging a woman who refused to move on the platform. I can only hope that I hurt her too.

I-pods and movable music things. Note here please the word PERSONAL. For you. On your own. I do not want to listen to your music first thing in the morning. I make a point of not sitting near anyone with headphones. Should you sit next to me and pollute my atmosphere, I will tell you.

Food. I love it but not stinky greasy-fried chicken, burgers, chips or kebabs. Scoff them before you get on.

Lazy bastards leaning against the central pole. You hold on to it not place your entire body against it so everyone else has to sway around and smash into each other. I do admit to digging my knuckles into other people's backs should they lay on my hand. You deserve it.

3 comments:

Che-Jay said...

Ah we have none of this on the trams in Nottingham, people are so polite. I am an avid mp3 user, I never knew I could be so offensive!

pat said...

asbos for the lot of them.
i truly hate noise pollution, and the little shits who use their mobile phones to listen to music - 3 crap tinny tracks. should be shot.
remember vote pat.

Shep said...

After all the years of travelling from south London to the west end to work, I lost patience and switched to the bus. The tube was always packed, people were always grumpy, you couldn't letch over women as it was too obvious...nightmare. The bus was great - full of quality nutters who, like me, couldn't really afford tube fare but liked the 6-ticket carnets (do they still do those?). Then my mother-in-law bought me an old-school (or should that be skool?) BMX and I rode to work every day. It cut 45 mins off the journey, I got to see all the sights cycling up (the Mall, Vauxhall Bridge etc.and got to listen to my old Diamond Rio mp3 player as loud as I liked!

Now I'm in quiet Devon and back on the bus (I know I know but the hills are reeeeeally steep) and I get to read and listen to podcasts and...not worry too much about what timethe retarded drivers get me to work. There's zero pace here...and I love it.